Depression in itself is an illness which is difficult to address when we do not have any prior experience. It becomes even more difficult when the one who is suffering is very near to us- a friend or a family member. However this proximity is in itself a very important fact that would be able to help a depressed individual get help from a professional and begin their journey on the path of recovery.
However, this kind of responsibility might make you imagine that you have to do something profound or even poetic. Instead, it is actually very simple- the little things that we do for those who are suffering needs to be from a place that is full of compassion and acceptance.
Instead of being dissuaded and overwhelmed by wondering what not to say, your simple acceptance of another person’s depressed state of mind along with a reassurance of your company and support can help a troubled mind.
What we forget at times that the easiest way to initiate a conversation is being direct- ask your friend if they are feeling depressed, or any kind of feeling that might seem to be out of the ordinary.
The worst thing that you can do or say to your friend is to accuse them or threaten, blame, or make fun their feelings and thoughts.
However, be prepared that they might be withdrawing themselves when you ask them about their thoughts and feelings. Mental health in itself is a complex concept, and the stigma attached to it makes things even worse for those suffering to be vulnerable. People also find it difficult to talk about how they feel. In such times, reassure them.
Let them know you care
Two simple words- ‘I care’ makes a world of difference for a person when he or she might feel like the whole world is turning against them. Few gestures like a hug or a gentle touch also can help you to get across this message. In such situation, it is crucial to reach out and to let your friend and loved one know that they matter and they are important to you.
Gentle reminders
Depression has the capability of making one feel lonely and completely isolated. It might seem that no one understand what you are feeling, and this in turn can overwhelm you. However, by reaching out to your friend, you will be able to let them know that no matter what, you are a constant factor in their life. This gentle reminder can help them get through the darkest days of the depressive state of being.
Volunteer to help
This can be dicey if not done in the right way. Helping someone is always appreciated, but it can become a sticky situation if we cannot help in ways people want to be helped.
The first thing that you as a friend of someone who is depressed might face is reluctance. Your friend might feel that he or she is being a burden on you- it is your words and reassurance that shall help them be at ease and accept the help you are offering. You could remind that they would do the same thing if you were the one who was suffering.
Depression in many cases, takes away the strength of an individual that requires then to do the most basic things, and the guilt and shame that is attached to this state of mind makes things even worse.
Hence, you can be prepared with some of the suggestions for your friend where he or she might need a helping hand such as:
• Grocery shopping and household chores
• Some company for a little time
• Accompanying them to their doctor’s appointment
• Cooking a hot meal of their choice
There is not much rules set on stone in these cases. At times, it is just another person’s presence that can help some who is depressed, feel better. The best thing to do, is to gently ask them, and offer help accordingly.
Seeking professional help
It is very important for seek professional help since a professional is trained to treat such mental illnesses. knowledgematik.com highlights the present state of isolation adding to the declining mental health of individuals and why it is crucial to seek for professional help. However, the stigma attached with mental health keeps individuals away from reaching out to a therapist.
Being a friend or a family member, you can urge them to talk to a professional. However, do not force them against their will since it will only make things worse. Instead, encourage them to consider the options available that might help them feel better and recover. They also need reassurances- convey to them that depression is a disease of the body, and modern medicine is fully capable of treating it.
Empathy
The 21st century does not stress enough on the importance of the virtue of empathy. By simply being empathetic, you can help ease the pain of those around you. However, be prepared for things to go wrong even when you have had good intentions.
Keep reminding yourself that nothing about your friend’s behaviour is personal. In many instances, whatever they might say while lashing out is not true- they are hurting and are unable to understand how to address their thoughts and emotions. Be calm and extend your support in ways that is accepted by your friend.